Mysterious Backwoodsman Tai Haruru steals the heart of middle aged Victorian wife

 

I discovered Elizabeth Goudge about thirteen years ago from a friend who loaned me several books. She's amazing! I adore her nature imagery and striking characters. She also does a great job of portraying relational ties that are complex. For example, in this story, (spoiler alert) two sisters are in love with the same man. He has differing types of affection for each and the characters alternate between friendship and other more intense types of connections with others whilst staying true to their marital vows. 

The story takes place in both the channel islands and New Zealand. The male protagonist is a bit of a blunder bust. He reminds me of some Dickens "heroes" who are forever mishandling things and it's infuriating. Because he's so likeable, stronger characters such as his eventual wife Marianne - who's a woman "born out of time" of her Victorian context, and my favorite character Tai Haruru, originally Timothy Haslan in a different life, an an enigmatic adventurer who mentors and befriends the hapless William and directs his enterprises:

"Yet there was one man who seemed to be not quite of this company, though utterly at home in it. He sat opposite William, looking at him with interest. He was silent, yet without movement or speech he dominated the whole room. ....So of the earth was he that he looked more like a tree than a man, one of those tough old pine trees that nothing in the way of weather except a thunderbolt will ever get the better of. he was immensely strong and vigorous. His eyes were dark and somber but as full of vitality as the curly, grizzled hair at his temples. His skin was the color of old oak, so roughened and seamed by exposure to weather that the scar of an old wound that cut across his head and ran down one side of his face was barely noticeable...."

Tai Haruru as he is called by the Maori people ends up being a strategic protector of William but also of Marianne who eventually joins him in New Zealand, leaving behind a sorrowful Marguerite, more of a Diana (Anne of Green Gables) type of person who eventually becomes a nun. The three have a dramatic reconciliation on the islands in their sunset years. (William, Marguerite, and Marianne). Tai is left where he should be left in the wilds of New Zealand where no one knows of his demise or survival. All is shrouded in the mystery akin to that of his past. 

Middle aged woman writes about a middle-aged woman set in the middle ages

 

Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset

Friend, let me tell you how I got my hands on this masterpiece. Apparently Undset deserves way more credit than she has received in American literary circles. Well, in this low-traffic blog, I plan to bestow high honor, and, upon my friend Cindy who somehow got her hands on this and gave it to me for my 42nd birthday, in this past year, in the thick of covid bedlam. 

Let me preface my praise by saying that this book is not for everyone. Lest you think me a snob, I will  declare that unless you are entranced with other cultures, particularly Scandinavian cultures, and other time periods, and detailed accounts of the lives of obscure people of the dark ages, this is not to be your friend and companion as it has been mine these past three months of fall. Unless you are fascinated by the clash of paganism and the church at its high and mightiest in the midst of the very real and raw every day glory and grind of medieval intensity, this may not be for you. If you are looking for that summer romance, that suspenseful page turner, the contemporary connection, most definitely look elsewhere.

I didn't dive into it right away. I probably had to finish up some other thing or bedside book and be in the proper frame of mine to embark on such a quest. This is not one novel mind you, but a trilogy tucked into one heavy book that has been my bedstead friend, my husband's bedside enemy, a place to set my coffee, and a very excellent way to end the day. 

Have you ever read a book which reveals the soul of the author? A very good story reveals something of the author. Perhaps Louisa May Alcott was motivated to write "stories for young ladies" because she was desperate to support her family, nonetheless her stories reveal something of her heart, or perhaps I am hopelessly naïve. 

This woman (Sigrid, we're on a first name basis or I hope we will be one day) was a genius, a historian, a social psychologist, a mother for sure, and a hard worker. This story fascinated me and wore me out. Her energy was somehow transferred onto Kristin who labored as the mistress of her farm no less, surely, than the creator of this saga. 

The ideas I had about the story when I opened its pages and was introduced to this flaxen haired creature who seemed to be complex yet aloof and concrete at the same time, were completely flummoxed as the story unfolded. Suffice it to say, dear reader, that if you have determined that you are not one of my above mentioned type of readers, and are bent to open these pages, I am loathe to spoil the plot. If my writing seems a bit medieval, attribute it to my hours spent within these depths of heaviness, or perhaps to the old vine zin that bethrones my table. Bethrones apparently is not a word. I warned you about my word innovation problem. 

Now to despoil without spoiling... Kristin, I have despised you, identified with you, and loved you. You have driven me crazy at times with your attention to detail, propensity for anxiety, and mostly because of your Catholic guilt. Like all of my favorite stories, this one contains its share of romantic love, but unlike other stories, the "forbidden" love is painfully and joyously played out in the entire life of a woman. This unusual turn of events makes this story shockingly realistic. Usually this type of story ends up with the wedding or the kiss of true love or whatever. Shudder. This one (respect!) actually deigns to portray life after marriage with all of its harrowing ups and downs, and the stringent unromantic day ins and day outs of marital marathon. 

It unveils the repressed affection and passion of the rejected suitor turned brother-in-law (awkward?) who honorably maintains a friendship and is suspected of nothing more until the bitter jaws of death reveal it. Sorry about the bitter jaws of death metaphor. Trite.

"Follow" (influence of social media in my writing?) Kristin's parents who seem one dimensional at first, but harbor desires and secrets of their own. 

 

We witness the raw disappointment that devoted parents feel when a child goes their own way, and Kristin's guilt for letting her heart lead her head.

We see how emotion continues to cloud judgment and even sisterly affection is choked out by rivalry.

We see how strife is mended in times of need by selfless caring and irrational charity.  

We see a couple continuously trying to reconcile their immense personality differences in a setting and time that is immersed in political intrigue, a harsh climate, a rigid religious system, rigorous living conditions (middle ages peeps), and the birth of child after child. Yet you see them continuously falling in love with one another and their incessant fascination by the complexity of the other and yes, attraction to each other's physical charms. (enneagram four here, people - this is what kept me coming back, not the physical charms - the romance!)

I love the medieval folklore. As a postmodern reader, I am less fascinated by Catholic ritual, but I am also intrigued by its foreignness to my own pragmatic and intellectualized approach to faith. The author's own spiritual affiliations are on display here and the exploration of medieval Catholicism in Norway is definitely not neglected. I believe she was an adult convert to Catholicism. I definitely can applaud that faith was the mainstay of her life's romance even when the temporal ties of marriage had faded through death. The practice of her spirituality is the backbone of her strength. 

The woman and mother in me relates to Kristin, but I feel like my spirit animal relates to Erlend, the husband. I related to wanting to stay the winters out in the "line shack" (please excuse my cowboy insert here, I am fully aware the Sigrid did not call it a "line shack.") I think it was a hunting cabin. They fought and he retreated to the line shack where he reveled in freedom from responsibility, closeness to nature, raw living, and lack of cleanliness. She, in all her holier than thou dutifulness, stays behind to run the estate and provide the proper kind of environment for her herd (oops cowboy insert again) of sons who eventually do exactly as they please anyway, products of two willful personalities. 

Eventually, in one of my personal favorite parts of the series, she shows up to confront him after pridefully pretending that he hasn't existed for a number of months and telling everyone that all is perfectly well between them. (Oh that's another annoying thing about the provinciality of the middle ages. Everything is about keeping up appearances.) She shows up in all her middle age glory (not middle ages, middle aged ha! - another thing that makes this book so appealing to the middle aged reader) only to to discover that they're both still irreconcilably infatuated with one another. They have the most delightful honeymoon that they never had, conceive a child (this book is not burdened by American puritanical tendencies), and he beseeches her to leave off the endless estate managing to come live with him in the line shack. 

This is where Kristin and I parted ways. She returned to the estate and I stayed there with Erlend. Ha ha, No, in reality I live in suburban California with my own very devoted estate manager. 

Suffice it to say they didn't have the Cinderella happy ending or even the Mr. and Mrs. Darcy happy ending. He does rescue her from some provincial persecution only to die a hero's death (he preferred it that way anyway, I think. ) (ennea 4 again, we dread living a long boring life.)

The story kind of peters out gently and sweetly in maternal devotion and eventually ecclesiastical servitude.

I didn't really touch on the fascinating perspective of feudal hierarchies in Norway, the amazing descriptions of farm life, nature imagery, and the presence of fantastic side characters who are like people you absolutely have known, but if you are so inclined after this ramble, then you are in for a treat.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

                                                     

Source: book club read

I have read several books for book club but this was one was truly a standout and one I would definitely recommend to others. Why? It has universal themes of human suffering and resilience, but also conveys a time in place of Brooklyn around the turn of the 20th century. It profoundly portrays the lives of second generation immigrants to New York - their mentalities and the challenges they faced. 

I wasn't sure I would be able to attend meeting, but at the last minute, I obtained the book on kindle and dove in. I wasn't able to complete it before the meet up, but I fell in love with the author's sensitive depiction of her world - inner and outer terrain. 

A story an Enneagram Four can relate to

Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer

                                           

At first I was worried that this story wouldn't be handled with care. Even though I knew little about it, I instinctively empathized with Chris McCandless. Then I began to perceive how much the author did as well. The whole story is an intent to capture his unique journey. He does not justify the pain Chris caused to his parents. Krakauer manages to convey painful truths about their complex relationship without demonizing or sugar coating. 

The intense journey of self discovery that Chris undertook is fathomable. The fact that he chose the path of completely no contact with his family is mystifying, but somehow he deemed it necessary for the pure ideal of independence that he sought in his life experiment. 

The idealist in me relates perhaps more than I would care to admit to the explorations of this young man in the early nineties. I see a portrait of my young twenty-something self - the ideas that I entertained, the asceticism that I pursued (in a much smaller way), my intent to grapple with the core of life's meanings, the way that I felt that I was on a completely different path from others, my desire to trim the fat of life's trappings and test myself. Perhaps if I had not been so deeply connected to my family, and was bolder, I might have undertaken just such a journey.

I enjoyed this book far more than I had anticipated. I think I expected it be more more of a pragmatic adventure story. I knew that Chris ended up dying, but little else about him. I was blindsided by the author's sensitive yet passionate approach to the story. I love how he approached it from different angles and also articulated the many criticisms that were broached after Chris's death - even about his lack of survival skills. The author carefully defends Chris in many ways. For example, how many of his many critics had actually succeeded to live alone in the Alaska wilderness and survive for months at a time - which Chris did manage to do. 

The book is intertwined with meaningful quotes that were part of Chris's portable library. I felt deeply connected to Chris and the author. The author personalizes the story even more by paralleling his own journey and some of his own experiences (one dangerous climb in particular) to that of Chris's. He also relates Chris to others throughout history - few and far between but unique characters who really sought to live life as deeply and intensely as possible - something an enneagram 4 can ever so relate with! (Better a short intensely lived life than one fraught with "quiet desperation" and dull civility. 

This is one book, I would definitely keep for my library to re-read. I'm eager to see the movie next.

Buxom bodices and Brash Buccaneering

I just finished Season 4 of this show - I believe it began filming around 2015, so it is the most recent version of the story. (There are several older ones I believe.) There is a season 5 but I have to rent it so I will wait to watch it. 

It took me the better part of a year to watch these. It wasn't like an addictive compulsion for me to finish this. It passed the time pleasantly. I especially enjoyed the scenery, music, and aesthetic of the filming, costumes etc.

Spoiler alert: What prompted me to write was my emotional reaction last night upon finishing the series when Elizabeth dies. I never liked Elizabeth. I found her tolerance for the despicable social-ladder-climbing-at-all-costs of her second husband George to be disgusting. She was an opportunist. While I can sympathize with the fact that women had few chances for stability without an "advantageous" marriage, she engaged herself to Francis before confirmation that Ross was really dead. When he showed up alive, she still married Francis even though she clearly was still in love with Ross.

 I could forgive her that, but then she manipulated George into marrying her in time to cover up her pregnancy through her one night stand with Ross, which didn't really work because her baby turned out looking just like Ross and coming "one month early" but with full term characteristics. OOPS. George has many flaws but being a complete idiot isn't one of them.

I don't believe she ever loved George - she knew he would provide her the genteel life and social standing she craved. Then she stood by passively disapproving or at time approving his gross exploitation of the poor - including his arrangement of the marriage of her cousin Morwenna to a perverted loathsome vicar. 

I can feel some sympathy for Elizabeth. Her maneuverings never really managed to attain her the happiness she hard-sought. When she tried to manipulate the timing of the birth of George's baby to make it seem like another "eight month miracle" - in order to fully deceive him about the first child being his, it backfired and killed her. 

Elizabeth's formality and dogged pursuit of gentility stand in sharp contrast to the warmth and genuineness of Demelza, who happens to rise in stature completely without guile. 

All that being said, I do appreciate the complexity of relationships with history, especially in the context of a rural village where everyone is linked to one another. Elizabeth was at one time the symbol of happiness for three men. The last episode masterfully wove together the power of her influence and thus her death. Ross can't help but be moved by her passing. We see the graciousness of Demelza as she extends kindness to Elizabeth and Valentine (the illicit child of Ross and Elizabeth) just prior to the death. 

I wasn't sad to see this end. I have for some time been weary of the same pointed rocks over the shore, no matter how beautiful. Also the bare chested embraces of Ross and the constant presence of buxom bodices. (Those just make me jealous LOL) There is only so much drama that can happen in a given small village: you've got the miners, romances that transcend social classes, intense jealousy, war heroes who return and romance wives, deaths, and beyond that there is only so much that can be fabricated!

Sara Dane - one true love: commerce

Source: free give away outside of the library several years ago.

I look forward to having more time to read during the pandemic where we are home in requested seclusion. 

Catherine Gaskin was only 25 when she wrote this book. I'm impressed with her grasp of history and the effectiveness of this narrative.

Historical novel set during the early colonization of Sydney, Australia. Sara was a convict on transport for theft (a careless misunderstanding when she had left the employ of a family in England.)

She is plucked out of the miserable hold being more qualified than others to fulfill the nanny needs of a lady travelling with her planter husband to settle in Australia. Her children's nanny had just died. 

Sara Dane raises her station in life through her intelligence, beauty, and industry. A prominent military officer marries her despite her convict background and together they start a farm and then a successful store. Sara takes an active role in running the business. Husband and wife are united in their ambitions and have three sons. 

Sara moves in a man's world and seems to have two meaningful female connections -her former employer Julie and the convict who remains faithful to her during an exciting convict uprising and who helps raise her children.

Sara's maternal instincts save her from being completely relegated to the "taboo" world of men. Andrew (military officer turned businessman and farmer) dies suddenly. Sara has no scarcity of admirers in this book. There are a handful of men that orbit her like a sun goddess:

 Jeremy - right hand man and overseer who began as a convict but continues out of loyalty (and love)

 Richard (previous flame from England - elegant and athletic but lacking in industry),

 French guy - forgot his name: wealthy with a mysterious past and an estranged daughter. Sara marries him in order to retain the prestige that her former marriage had provided. She also likes the guy. 

He also dies. She returns to England for a time with her grown children. She and Richard decide their marriage would be futile - with her children, she returns to Australia to continue the legacy and her main love - commerce!!

This was an audio read - actually my daughter read it to me. This was a book she had read in 7th grade and we decided to take turns selecting books to read together. 

What a charming read! Plus much of it we read together while on an overnight camp trip to Malibu. Great setting to share a story. 

The characters are vivid and simple events are poignantly portrayed. Julie nurses a childhood crush for Bryce who scorns her attention for years. Suddenly in their early teen years she begins to question his character and turn away from her interest in him. He, however, discovers that he can't keep his mind off of her. 

The chapters alternate between the perspectives of these two characters. Adorable! It is not just a romance. There is growth and development of other characters in the story and how the familial relationships are contrasted. 

It also explores how handicapped people are perceived in society as Julie discovers that she has an uncle who has special needs. 

February Book Club Read

This was a really unique read. The author is Swedish and very unorthodox. The story is written in third person but from the perspective of a precocious seven year old girl. Her parents are divorced and caught up in high profile careers and new partners. Her mother is expecting a new baby with her stepfather. Right away the reader is impressed that her grandmother has become the main influence and ally for the girl. 

The grandmother is a true character full of impetuous mischief. Her relationship with her own daughter is fraught with angst. She is the rule bender and breaker and her daughter is portrayed as the classic control freak. (The reason for the extreme character contrast is revealed as the story begins to unpack everyone's back stories.)

The grandmother has invented a fantasy world and taught her granddaughter a secret language which seems to be a code for understanding people and navigating in a difficult world. It becomes a sort of refuge for the little girl who experiences bullying at school from other children. 

Tragically the grandmother dies of cancer. Elsa (the granddaughter) becomes the bearer of letters of reconciliation her grandmother wrote to people with whom her relationship had become strained and frayed. Through this process of distributing letters, understanding and healing begin to take place among this small community of families and neighbors who share an apartment complex. 

3 Condensed Novels - a mysterious inheritance, native integration, unrequited love

The following titles are all from a Readers Digest Condensed Version passed on to me from my Grandma and Mom. This volume contained more stories, but I only read these three. The other stories looked like they were about WWII and I'm not so much into war stories, unless they are peppered with enough drama and romance.

The Tilsit Inheritance - Catherine Gaskin
   A strange tale about a young girl living in the Caribbean who discovers her father's mysterious past linked to a family property and business in England that made beautiful china. The story is full of mystery and slowly unravels as the story progresses. Young Ginny ends up back on the estate after the strange death of her aunt. Turns out the aunt had tried to manipulate everyone into doing her bidding and the whole estate seemed to have a sinister yet binding magnetism. In the end, Ginny discovers the secrets and in one bold move leaves the craftsman she had fallen in love with and returns to the island home of her childhood, where another man awaits.


When the Legends Die - Hal Borland
   This story is right up my alley because it captures the life of a man trying to integrate two worlds: that of his native Ute heritage and that of a "modern" man (story is set in early 1900s I believe.) At one point in his childhood, his mother leaves the small Colorado town where they had been living,  and takes her young son to the mountains to live in "the old way." She teaches her son how to live off the land and weave baskets. She dies an untimely death leaving him to fend for himself. Thankfully she taught him well and he is able to survive. He makes friends with a bear cub and trades in his beautifully woven baskets to a kind store owner who gives him supplies. The young boy is betrayed by a tribal member who takes him to an "indian school" in exchange for money. There they try to strip him of his heritage and anglicize him, as was the practice of the day. His pet bear follows him but is injured and driven away. This marks the end of his childhood.
   Thus his adult life is permeated with rage which he channels into bronc riding on the rodeo circuit. He becomes famous for his ruthless bronc riding. Midway through his career he leaves his mentor who more or less exploited him, and goes out on his own. At one point he becomes severely injured and his convalescence forces him to come face to face with himself.
   Once he he can function, he returns to the region of his childhood to work as a sheepherder. There in the mountains he remembers his heritage. He has an encounter with a bear - the implication being that it is the same bear that was once his pet.  Through living in the wild, he is able to re-integrate his native heritage, "He had had a long journey; the long and lonely journey a man must take when he denies his own past, refuses to face his own identity.....he was a Ute, an Indian, and nothing would ever change that."


The Battle of the Villa Fiorita - Rumer Godden

Just finished this one! This is the second book of hers I have read (RDCV) I don't think I documented the other one - about a convent in England. I love her writing! This one is a fascinating exploration of the culmination of divorce. A well established middle aged housewife in England falls in love with a movie director who happens to be in her neighborhood filming. I think this is post WWII. She's kind of the classic overlooked relatively happy woman whose military husband travels a lot and whose 3 school age children are conveniently away at boarding school - recipe for disaster and drama. All of a sudden she catches the interest of this tall dark and handsome stranger who pursues her. She feels beautiful and alive like never before.

They end up running off together to a villa in Italy. (on a sidenote the villa is on Lake Garda which happens to be near where I used to live so it made it easy to imagine the setting, the people, and the towns which I have actually visited!)

They are caught up in a love world all their own. Just when you think you know where the story is going, two of her kids show up to disrupt the scene. The author does such a great job of not vilifying anyone here. She really captures the agony of the tension the protagonist feels between the pull of falling in love and the reality of family, stability, and the happiness of her children. The kids journeyed solo to Italy from England to bring their mom back.

The kids end up staying for several weeks. They bond with their mom's fiancee to a degree but also feel all the resentment and outrage of their father and the disruption this has caused in their lives. Rob (fiancee) brings up his daughter from previous marriage.)

Ultimately the tension reaches a climax  - all the complexity of the situation is fully expressed. Just when you think the tenacity of their attachment will win, the protagonist realizes she is not pregnant as she had suspected. A scary boat accident where two of the children almost drown - brings her home to reality. The story ends with her returning broken hearted yet resigned to London to try to patch up her marriage and restore their family to order... The children have won, hard won victory...

More shedding

https://www.jamaljivanjee.com/

This weekend finished Jamal Jivanjee’s book Living for a Living.  My friend Emilee sent this to me and I'm so grateful. Because of her recommendation, Nick and I read it together which took us a while as we squeezed in a chapter here and there. 

It really tied in with a lot that I’ve been thinking about in terms of unschooling and shedding even more of the arbitrary restrictions placed on us by society and culture. He does a good job using examples and real life dialogues to drive home his point, which is basically about

-       Being alive to the present

-       Awareness about western cultural strongholds re: materialism, workaholism, and the idolatry of self-reliance and individualism, and global beliefs in scarcity.

-       He refers to Jesus often but doesn’t throw in random out of context scripture passages in an annoying way

I struggled with this book because I love individualism and self-reliance. I do rely on others but I am fairly uncomfortable with it. It was good to examine that a bit. It has negatively affected me in the past. Like all things, we have to be careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water. There are many good things about self reliance and working hard and elements of our cultural heritage. We have to carefully integrate these ideas. 

I felt like the voice of cynicism was really alive in me as he talked about pursuing dreams and so forth. I also feel like it’s a needed call. Working hard can be a good thing. We also have this one short life to live out on a beautiful earth. I often think of Thoreau’s famous quote “most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” It’s a favorite of mine because I’d rather risk losing my security rather than losing the chance to live a life full of meaning and beauty. I think it’s important to differentiate between pursuing meaning and pursuing sheer pleasure and happiness which is a slippery slope.

Towards the end he talks about Anthony Robbins theory about the six essential needs: 1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty 3. Significance 4. Love and connection 5. Growth 6. Contribution

This was really interesting. I kept thinking about the uncertainty part. Perhaps that’s what’s missing in my life. As I was hiking with my husband in the desert, I really wanted to go down a rocky ravine in which I didn’t know if it would lead us out to the bottom of the canyon safely. Part of the attraction (besides scrambling over sharp rocks) was the NOT knowing.

Because of these needs, sometimes we embrace substitutes that seem to meet these needs, even if they truly don’t. These become addictions. This is something I want to talk about with my kids, particularly my high schooler. This is what I want to impart not: Biology, Geometry, honors English, Physical Education, elective, elective which is what the culture tells her she should be spending 70% of her time doing.

JJ says we should ask ourselves these questions on a regular basis:

What will you do with what you’ve been given right now?

Will you appreciate the beauty of all you’ve already been given, or will you pursue an illusion of what you think you lack?

This last section struck a chord. I’ve spent seasons of my life where I became so fixated on obtaining something or someone that I ceased to enjoy the present season at all.

Emotionally Charged

This was a re-read. I believe I read it some years back. I just joined a book club and this was our first book for the month of January. New Year, new book club, first book.

This is totally a delightful read. Full of unexpected words, sensations, and happenings. Poetic. Our discussion was really personal and emotionally charged. It was like an enneagram 4's elixir of life.