I have a confession to make. I check out lots of library books and do not read them. I actually check them out, studiously enter their due dates in my calendar (even setting a reminder to sound off in time for me to return them), and THEN I renew them. Repeatedly. Until one of two things happens: I incur library fees, those loathly accountability shame-mongers that I despise (because I despise a free public lending library becoming a paid attraction because of MY ineptitude); OR, I despair of reading them and return them. Never mind that the librarian doesn't know I haven't read them. I know I haven't read them.
So, instead of reading one of these charmers right now, I'm writing about not reading them, because apparently that might be more fun
Just take a look at these titles. Reduced Shakespeare: The Complete Guide for the Attention-Impaired [Abridged]...skip to the bottom--What Jane Austen Ate and What Charles Dickens Knew: From Fox Hunting to Whist -- the Facts of Daily Life in 19th Century England, and my favorite title of all (move up a row), Break, Blow, Burn: Camille Paglia Reads Forty-three of the World's Best Poems. Who wouldn't want to read a book that says "Break, Blow, Burn" in caps-lock on a hot pink cover???
*Sidenote--All, I repeat, ALL of the picture childrens' books which I dutifully check out for my daughter GET READ. By her, by me, by us, together or apart. Why is it that I do not permit myself the pleasure (or the discipline--ah! that might be more to the point) of reading the oh-so alluring biblia which have attracted me enough to go to the trouble of checking them out, lugging them home, trying to not be overdue in returning them, and risking failure at the aforementioned life skill? (I also cyclically check out hoped-for reads of chapter books for my daughter, ostensibly for me to pre-read, but alas, here I also fail to read most of them).
Back to the original question--Why do get so many "free" books, renew them 3-5 times out of their 9 renewal lifespan, and return them either overdue and unread or on time and unread? Not sure (lack discipline is not fun to admit, but probably the truth), but a gratifying little discovery emerged about this topic after riffing on this theme with Zona... The power of community. That is my rescue rope. After discussing my issue with my friend and getting a good laugh out of it, I actually picked up the Reduced Shakespeare and plunged in. The friendly sarcasm has me stifling a smile about every paragraph or so. Not my usual fare, but it makes the material fresh, plus I'd like to brush up on Shakespeare a bit, and this looked a fun way to do so.
I also broke open the first book in the Infinity Ring series, which I checked out to pre-read it to see if it might be worth recommending to my son to read. I had learned that Michael de la Pena authored a later book in the series, and since I enjoyed his illustrated children's book, LOVE, I thought I'd give the series a go. (Apparently they are authored by a variety of writers. Interesting.) It's a time-travel book which goes back into history to save the world. The parents are involved, and in the first ten chapters or so, the disrespect so casually paid to adults in general was minimal. Yay. I don't know if I'll finish it, because I would actually prefer to read more grown-up syntax and diction and to be carried along more sophisticated themes than this one has; however, I've appreciated the exposure to the book as a window into some reading at my kids' level.
Despite the genuine kick I've gotten out of writing about the books I've checked out from the library, I sincerely hope that I'll spend a few more half-hours reading them instead.
This moment of truth was brought to you, with a chuckle, by Emilee Weeks Ames. Thanks for reading.
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