Mindset - not just for "Go-Getters"

                                                 

source: sister and bro

I feel like self help books are often written by Type A go-getters. Except for the more new age ones perhaps like Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. 

This is no exception.

However, there are some great takeaways even for your less industrious type who wants to pay for wi-fi but maybe not become a CEO. This book fleshes out growth mindset and how it plays out in many arenas: business, sports, parenting, teaching, marriage...

• imploding the idea of "the natural.
• embracing a humble, learning, posture - learning from failure and success
• developing in relationships - the active model - vs. the magical thinking
• teachers and parents - instilling the growth model

I think one of the things I am most aware of is the difficulty I have in asking for feedback and in accepting criticism. I'm kind of hard on myself already and maybe I feel like I'm already doing enough of a good job in being hard on myself so I don't want to ask someone else to be hard on me?

I'm an hsp (highly sensitive person). How this has played out in my life, is that I trained all the people who love me to never criticize me or be harsh to me because the result was me completely melting down. This type of climate doesn't make for the best self development. I wanted to be a natural at everything and so if I wasn't, I tended not to pursue it. If I received criticism, I tended to want to abandon whatever the said pursuit was. Thankfully, we had a family business in cattle ranching where I was subject to some direction and correction (and it wasn't always conveyed in the most diplomatic manner) - which is probably a saving grace for my character development. I couldn't become a complete egg shell wearer. I also wasn't allowed to quit!

I notice that I'm sometimes reluctant to try very hard. This is falling prey to the "if I fail if I haven't tried hard, than I will somehow shield myself from disappointment." My mom once noticed me doing this in a track race while I was cruising the 800 and not really giving it my all. 

I quit volleyball once because the coach critiqued me. I didn't like his personality and I decided that I didn't care about varsity volleyball. 

I've tried to parent with focusing on effort rather than talent. Praising specific achievements rather than general "smartness," "talent," "athleticism," etc. 

I think just generally combating laziness is the kicker. I have had to apply this to using technology- something that once scared me worse than facing a longhorn steer head on. In college I tried to submit my papers hand written - then I finally started typing them up but was still resistant up until getting my first smart phone 5 years after everyone else I knew had one. 

Thankfully I have people in my life who model G.M. and encourage me to move forward and keep learning and growing. I don't want to be entirely left behind!