Middle aged woman writes about a middle-aged woman set in the middle ages

 

Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset

Friend, let me tell you how I got my hands on this masterpiece. Apparently Undset deserves way more credit than she has received in American literary circles. Well, in this low-traffic blog, I plan to bestow high honor, and, upon my friend Cindy who somehow got her hands on this and gave it to me for my 42nd birthday, in this past year, in the thick of covid bedlam. 

Let me preface my praise by saying that this book is not for everyone. Lest you think me a snob, I will  declare that unless you are entranced with other cultures, particularly Scandinavian cultures, and other time periods, and detailed accounts of the lives of obscure people of the dark ages, this is not to be your friend and companion as it has been mine these past three months of fall. Unless you are fascinated by the clash of paganism and the church at its high and mightiest in the midst of the very real and raw every day glory and grind of medieval intensity, this may not be for you. If you are looking for that summer romance, that suspenseful page turner, the contemporary connection, most definitely look elsewhere.

I didn't dive into it right away. I probably had to finish up some other thing or bedside book and be in the proper frame of mine to embark on such a quest. This is not one novel mind you, but a trilogy tucked into one heavy book that has been my bedstead friend, my husband's bedside enemy, a place to set my coffee, and a very excellent way to end the day. 

Have you ever read a book which reveals the soul of the author? A very good story reveals something of the author. Perhaps Louisa May Alcott was motivated to write "stories for young ladies" because she was desperate to support her family, nonetheless her stories reveal something of her heart, or perhaps I am hopelessly naïve. 

This woman (Sigrid, we're on a first name basis or I hope we will be one day) was a genius, a historian, a social psychologist, a mother for sure, and a hard worker. This story fascinated me and wore me out. Her energy was somehow transferred onto Kristin who labored as the mistress of her farm no less, surely, than the creator of this saga. 

The ideas I had about the story when I opened its pages and was introduced to this flaxen haired creature who seemed to be complex yet aloof and concrete at the same time, were completely flummoxed as the story unfolded. Suffice it to say, dear reader, that if you have determined that you are not one of my above mentioned type of readers, and are bent to open these pages, I am loathe to spoil the plot. If my writing seems a bit medieval, attribute it to my hours spent within these depths of heaviness, or perhaps to the old vine zin that bethrones my table. Bethrones apparently is not a word. I warned you about my word innovation problem. 

Now to despoil without spoiling... Kristin, I have despised you, identified with you, and loved you. You have driven me crazy at times with your attention to detail, propensity for anxiety, and mostly because of your Catholic guilt. Like all of my favorite stories, this one contains its share of romantic love, but unlike other stories, the "forbidden" love is painfully and joyously played out in the entire life of a woman. This unusual turn of events makes this story shockingly realistic. Usually this type of story ends up with the wedding or the kiss of true love or whatever. Shudder. This one (respect!) actually deigns to portray life after marriage with all of its harrowing ups and downs, and the stringent unromantic day ins and day outs of marital marathon. 

It unveils the repressed affection and passion of the rejected suitor turned brother-in-law (awkward?) who honorably maintains a friendship and is suspected of nothing more until the bitter jaws of death reveal it. Sorry about the bitter jaws of death metaphor. Trite.

"Follow" (influence of social media in my writing?) Kristin's parents who seem one dimensional at first, but harbor desires and secrets of their own. 

 

We witness the raw disappointment that devoted parents feel when a child goes their own way, and Kristin's guilt for letting her heart lead her head.

We see how emotion continues to cloud judgment and even sisterly affection is choked out by rivalry.

We see how strife is mended in times of need by selfless caring and irrational charity.  

We see a couple continuously trying to reconcile their immense personality differences in a setting and time that is immersed in political intrigue, a harsh climate, a rigid religious system, rigorous living conditions (middle ages peeps), and the birth of child after child. Yet you see them continuously falling in love with one another and their incessant fascination by the complexity of the other and yes, attraction to each other's physical charms. (enneagram four here, people - this is what kept me coming back, not the physical charms - the romance!)

I love the medieval folklore. As a postmodern reader, I am less fascinated by Catholic ritual, but I am also intrigued by its foreignness to my own pragmatic and intellectualized approach to faith. The author's own spiritual affiliations are on display here and the exploration of medieval Catholicism in Norway is definitely not neglected. I believe she was an adult convert to Catholicism. I definitely can applaud that faith was the mainstay of her life's romance even when the temporal ties of marriage had faded through death. The practice of her spirituality is the backbone of her strength. 

The woman and mother in me relates to Kristin, but I feel like my spirit animal relates to Erlend, the husband. I related to wanting to stay the winters out in the "line shack" (please excuse my cowboy insert here, I am fully aware the Sigrid did not call it a "line shack.") I think it was a hunting cabin. They fought and he retreated to the line shack where he reveled in freedom from responsibility, closeness to nature, raw living, and lack of cleanliness. She, in all her holier than thou dutifulness, stays behind to run the estate and provide the proper kind of environment for her herd (oops cowboy insert again) of sons who eventually do exactly as they please anyway, products of two willful personalities. 

Eventually, in one of my personal favorite parts of the series, she shows up to confront him after pridefully pretending that he hasn't existed for a number of months and telling everyone that all is perfectly well between them. (Oh that's another annoying thing about the provinciality of the middle ages. Everything is about keeping up appearances.) She shows up in all her middle age glory (not middle ages, middle aged ha! - another thing that makes this book so appealing to the middle aged reader) only to to discover that they're both still irreconcilably infatuated with one another. They have the most delightful honeymoon that they never had, conceive a child (this book is not burdened by American puritanical tendencies), and he beseeches her to leave off the endless estate managing to come live with him in the line shack. 

This is where Kristin and I parted ways. She returned to the estate and I stayed there with Erlend. Ha ha, No, in reality I live in suburban California with my own very devoted estate manager. 

Suffice it to say they didn't have the Cinderella happy ending or even the Mr. and Mrs. Darcy happy ending. He does rescue her from some provincial persecution only to die a hero's death (he preferred it that way anyway, I think. ) (ennea 4 again, we dread living a long boring life.)

The story kind of peters out gently and sweetly in maternal devotion and eventually ecclesiastical servitude.

I didn't really touch on the fascinating perspective of feudal hierarchies in Norway, the amazing descriptions of farm life, nature imagery, and the presence of fantastic side characters who are like people you absolutely have known, but if you are so inclined after this ramble, then you are in for a treat.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

                                                     

Source: book club read

I have read several books for book club but this was one was truly a standout and one I would definitely recommend to others. Why? It has universal themes of human suffering and resilience, but also conveys a time in place of Brooklyn around the turn of the 20th century. It profoundly portrays the lives of second generation immigrants to New York - their mentalities and the challenges they faced. 

I wasn't sure I would be able to attend meeting, but at the last minute, I obtained the book on kindle and dove in. I wasn't able to complete it before the meet up, but I fell in love with the author's sensitive depiction of her world - inner and outer terrain. 

A story an Enneagram Four can relate to

Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer

                                           

At first I was worried that this story wouldn't be handled with care. Even though I knew little about it, I instinctively empathized with Chris McCandless. Then I began to perceive how much the author did as well. The whole story is an intent to capture his unique journey. He does not justify the pain Chris caused to his parents. Krakauer manages to convey painful truths about their complex relationship without demonizing or sugar coating. 

The intense journey of self discovery that Chris undertook is fathomable. The fact that he chose the path of completely no contact with his family is mystifying, but somehow he deemed it necessary for the pure ideal of independence that he sought in his life experiment. 

The idealist in me relates perhaps more than I would care to admit to the explorations of this young man in the early nineties. I see a portrait of my young twenty-something self - the ideas that I entertained, the asceticism that I pursued (in a much smaller way), my intent to grapple with the core of life's meanings, the way that I felt that I was on a completely different path from others, my desire to trim the fat of life's trappings and test myself. Perhaps if I had not been so deeply connected to my family, and was bolder, I might have undertaken just such a journey.

I enjoyed this book far more than I had anticipated. I think I expected it be more more of a pragmatic adventure story. I knew that Chris ended up dying, but little else about him. I was blindsided by the author's sensitive yet passionate approach to the story. I love how he approached it from different angles and also articulated the many criticisms that were broached after Chris's death - even about his lack of survival skills. The author carefully defends Chris in many ways. For example, how many of his many critics had actually succeeded to live alone in the Alaska wilderness and survive for months at a time - which Chris did manage to do. 

The book is intertwined with meaningful quotes that were part of Chris's portable library. I felt deeply connected to Chris and the author. The author personalizes the story even more by paralleling his own journey and some of his own experiences (one dangerous climb in particular) to that of Chris's. He also relates Chris to others throughout history - few and far between but unique characters who really sought to live life as deeply and intensely as possible - something an enneagram 4 can ever so relate with! (Better a short intensely lived life than one fraught with "quiet desperation" and dull civility. 

This is one book, I would definitely keep for my library to re-read. I'm eager to see the movie next.

Buxom bodices and Brash Buccaneering

I just finished Season 4 of this show - I believe it began filming around 2015, so it is the most recent version of the story. (There are several older ones I believe.) There is a season 5 but I have to rent it so I will wait to watch it. 

It took me the better part of a year to watch these. It wasn't like an addictive compulsion for me to finish this. It passed the time pleasantly. I especially enjoyed the scenery, music, and aesthetic of the filming, costumes etc.

Spoiler alert: What prompted me to write was my emotional reaction last night upon finishing the series when Elizabeth dies. I never liked Elizabeth. I found her tolerance for the despicable social-ladder-climbing-at-all-costs of her second husband George to be disgusting. She was an opportunist. While I can sympathize with the fact that women had few chances for stability without an "advantageous" marriage, she engaged herself to Francis before confirmation that Ross was really dead. When he showed up alive, she still married Francis even though she clearly was still in love with Ross.

 I could forgive her that, but then she manipulated George into marrying her in time to cover up her pregnancy through her one night stand with Ross, which didn't really work because her baby turned out looking just like Ross and coming "one month early" but with full term characteristics. OOPS. George has many flaws but being a complete idiot isn't one of them.

I don't believe she ever loved George - she knew he would provide her the genteel life and social standing she craved. Then she stood by passively disapproving or at time approving his gross exploitation of the poor - including his arrangement of the marriage of her cousin Morwenna to a perverted loathsome vicar. 

I can feel some sympathy for Elizabeth. Her maneuverings never really managed to attain her the happiness she hard-sought. When she tried to manipulate the timing of the birth of George's baby to make it seem like another "eight month miracle" - in order to fully deceive him about the first child being his, it backfired and killed her. 

Elizabeth's formality and dogged pursuit of gentility stand in sharp contrast to the warmth and genuineness of Demelza, who happens to rise in stature completely without guile. 

All that being said, I do appreciate the complexity of relationships with history, especially in the context of a rural village where everyone is linked to one another. Elizabeth was at one time the symbol of happiness for three men. The last episode masterfully wove together the power of her influence and thus her death. Ross can't help but be moved by her passing. We see the graciousness of Demelza as she extends kindness to Elizabeth and Valentine (the illicit child of Ross and Elizabeth) just prior to the death. 

I wasn't sad to see this end. I have for some time been weary of the same pointed rocks over the shore, no matter how beautiful. Also the bare chested embraces of Ross and the constant presence of buxom bodices. (Those just make me jealous LOL) There is only so much drama that can happen in a given small village: you've got the miners, romances that transcend social classes, intense jealousy, war heroes who return and romance wives, deaths, and beyond that there is only so much that can be fabricated!

Sara Dane - one true love: commerce

Source: free give away outside of the library several years ago.

I look forward to having more time to read during the pandemic where we are home in requested seclusion. 

Catherine Gaskin was only 25 when she wrote this book. I'm impressed with her grasp of history and the effectiveness of this narrative.

Historical novel set during the early colonization of Sydney, Australia. Sara was a convict on transport for theft (a careless misunderstanding when she had left the employ of a family in England.)

She is plucked out of the miserable hold being more qualified than others to fulfill the nanny needs of a lady travelling with her planter husband to settle in Australia. Her children's nanny had just died. 

Sara Dane raises her station in life through her intelligence, beauty, and industry. A prominent military officer marries her despite her convict background and together they start a farm and then a successful store. Sara takes an active role in running the business. Husband and wife are united in their ambitions and have three sons. 

Sara moves in a man's world and seems to have two meaningful female connections -her former employer Julie and the convict who remains faithful to her during an exciting convict uprising and who helps raise her children.

Sara's maternal instincts save her from being completely relegated to the "taboo" world of men. Andrew (military officer turned businessman and farmer) dies suddenly. Sara has no scarcity of admirers in this book. There are a handful of men that orbit her like a sun goddess:

 Jeremy - right hand man and overseer who began as a convict but continues out of loyalty (and love)

 Richard (previous flame from England - elegant and athletic but lacking in industry),

 French guy - forgot his name: wealthy with a mysterious past and an estranged daughter. Sara marries him in order to retain the prestige that her former marriage had provided. She also likes the guy. 

He also dies. She returns to England for a time with her grown children. She and Richard decide their marriage would be futile - with her children, she returns to Australia to continue the legacy and her main love - commerce!!

This was an audio read - actually my daughter read it to me. This was a book she had read in 7th grade and we decided to take turns selecting books to read together. 

What a charming read! Plus much of it we read together while on an overnight camp trip to Malibu. Great setting to share a story. 

The characters are vivid and simple events are poignantly portrayed. Julie nurses a childhood crush for Bryce who scorns her attention for years. Suddenly in their early teen years she begins to question his character and turn away from her interest in him. He, however, discovers that he can't keep his mind off of her. 

The chapters alternate between the perspectives of these two characters. Adorable! It is not just a romance. There is growth and development of other characters in the story and how the familial relationships are contrasted. 

It also explores how handicapped people are perceived in society as Julie discovers that she has an uncle who has special needs. 

February Book Club Read

This was a really unique read. The author is Swedish and very unorthodox. The story is written in third person but from the perspective of a precocious seven year old girl. Her parents are divorced and caught up in high profile careers and new partners. Her mother is expecting a new baby with her stepfather. Right away the reader is impressed that her grandmother has become the main influence and ally for the girl. 

The grandmother is a true character full of impetuous mischief. Her relationship with her own daughter is fraught with angst. She is the rule bender and breaker and her daughter is portrayed as the classic control freak. (The reason for the extreme character contrast is revealed as the story begins to unpack everyone's back stories.)

The grandmother has invented a fantasy world and taught her granddaughter a secret language which seems to be a code for understanding people and navigating in a difficult world. It becomes a sort of refuge for the little girl who experiences bullying at school from other children. 

Tragically the grandmother dies of cancer. Elsa (the granddaughter) becomes the bearer of letters of reconciliation her grandmother wrote to people with whom her relationship had become strained and frayed. Through this process of distributing letters, understanding and healing begin to take place among this small community of families and neighbors who share an apartment complex.