Neither Wolf Nor Dog

I  heard this book mentioned several times on the Thomas Jefferson hour and since I'm an indianphile like I'm a celticphile, and cowboyphile - apparently like everybody else - a despised wanna be - reiterated by Dan the ancient Indian interviewed by Kent Nerburn in this 1994 book - I requested it from the library.

This was a provocative book. I tried to write it off at first - because the author's first encounter with the old Indian was met with such rudeness and seemingly entitled race obsession. The protagonist couldn't get over the travesties of atrocities that had occurred to his people. I use those words on purpose to be dramatic. I was raised in a culture where individual responsibility for one's actions reigned supreme - not collective. Some of my ancestors were Scottish - who earned hundreds of years of disenfranchisement and persecution because of their tribal ways. I'm sure if you go back far enough there is  "Dan" amongst my pict ancestors.

It seems that the author "Nerburn" had been selected to be verbally crucified on behalf of all white people everywhere regardless of his own tribe or creed.

That did happen. The author endured a kind of death as he sacrificed his agenda and swallowed his retorts to absorb the guilt of over a hundred years of history. He is demoted to a childlike state in the backseat of a car that sweeps through the badland country disregardless (I told you I make up words) of roads, time, and Nerburn's wife and son who now dwell in another dimension.

Part of me, was like get a life, lots of people and people groups have endured persecution (like the jews) and cultural disenfranchisement. They picked themselves up by their bootstraps, hid their menorah, and forged ahead.

The other part of me, was captivated by the idea of Nerburn absorbing this cultural guilt, and giving Dan (who had been kidnapped from his parents to live in a boarding school where he had been forbidden to speak his own language) a chance to vent his frustration about what had been stripped away. I stuck with the story and after the characters undergo a storm of spiritual proportions, Nerburn has an almost out of body experience at Wounded Knee. Dan seems to have purged away some of his anger through his talks with Nerburn and with the engagement of hope that he has had a chance to tell a true story - one in which he is not a victim, a massacerer, or a "wise indian."

Ultimately they forge a strange frienship. There is a kind of meeting of minds that was painfully real and I recognized it. I appreciated that the story was provocative. I liked Dan's exploration of spirituality and his take on Jesus. "I like Jesus, He didn't own anything. He slept outside on the earth. He moved around all the time. He shared everything he got. He even talked to the Great Spirit as his father. He was just like an Indian."

I see that they made a movie in 2016 - looks like they're wrapping up their screenings. Hope I can get a copy of it eventually.

Despite my ramblings, I really wanted to be there in that car roaming over the badlands country. (prefer a horse though) There is something in me that just wants to explore all those remote places in the world and talk to the people who live where those scattered lights pop up when you fly over. I want to eat with that old woman who lives in a bowl shaped crevice in the middle of the prairie with no road leading to her home. Maybe I even want to be her one day.