Perfection Salad by Laura Shapiro

 

Perfection Salad - Laura Shapiro

Book Club read recommended by a member

Part of a throng of research projects that emerged in the early seventies when women began doing doctoral research.  The book highlights key women of influence in the United States (particularly New England) who led the charge in creating cooking schools, industrializing and streamlining the kitchen, established standards of measurement, as well as promoting quality control, safety, and nutritional awareness. 

The book discusses different waves of the movement from the mid 1800s up until the early to mid 1900s.  

She also talks about trends and public perceptions that influenced women. For example it was very popular in the 1800s for women to be "dainty." This led to women believing that they should eat very little, and when they did it should be in the form of "dainty" carb like things ie toast, wafers, tiny sandwiches etc. Meat and hearty dishes were considered more appropriate for men. This led to many women being undernourished and having anemia even. 

She also discusses the spiritualization of homemaking that transpired in the United States during the Victorian era. This was the idea that the woman was the spiritual heart and spiritual leader of the home. By maintaining order and creating domestic tranquility, training up the children etc. this was considered to be an end unto itself - a lofty goal and task that only a woman could achieve.  Through throwing herself into this work, she was truly a missionary in her home and then this could seep out beyond to include the community at large. Cooking and cleaning were thus glorified to fulfill a high and noble calling and it was approached with due seriousness. 

In our book club meeting we talked about feminism, its waves, and also the counter revolutions that followed. We see this today -with women identifying with traditional ideas of wife/motherhood. We talked about our own ancestors and the ways in which they viewed cooking and domesticity. Was it something to be accomplished in order to get on to something else or was it more? 

Views of food: In my family there was a saying "Eat to live, not live to eat." I think it's a very industrialized notion of food as a source of energy so you can go out and do more work. I noted that this is a a very different approach from the Italian family I married into. In Italian culture, how you prepare food, the ingredients you use, when you eat, in what order, at what time are all very important to them. (Not to mention the relative tastiness of the food.) 

I always enjoy pondering food processes of other times and places because they were so labor intensive. People at the turn of the century celebrated the newfangled notion of "processed foods." Our relationship with processed foods has become increasingly complex and I think most people rely on them but view the relationship dubiously. Our connection to the sources of food (for most US dwellers) is pretty remote. Most of our food travels through multiple entities before it reaches our plates or greasy paper bags. 

This book offers interesting insights into the evolution of that process and how industrialization affected the way cook, eat, and think about food and those who prepare it. 

My Girl Liz

 Liz Gilbert captured me with her famous memoir Eat Pray Love which I read years ago when I was living in London. I've written about two of her other books on this blog: Big Magic, and The Last American Man. It's safe to say I'm a gushy fangirl. In fact, I think I've read all of her books. She's brilliant, funny, authentic, candid, confident yet vulnerable. 

Stern Men was first published in 2000, so an earlier work in her book career. I tend to like her nonfiction more than fiction. This story is inspired by actual lobster fishing communities but is an entirely fictional narrative. It was definitely enjoyable and having grown up in a resource based industry (agriculture) I'm always fascinated to delve into other types of livelihoods imaginatively that source an existence from the earth itself. 

One of my takeaways was just really internalizing how difficult life can be and how that difficulty can bring or bear with it a deal of harshness. Those who have to physically work very hard to earn a livelihood particularly as independent business people carve a mold that is very familiar to me. Collaboration and dependence are viewed with unease. Competition can be fierce. Bullshit is not tolerated. Nepotism and succession matters weave a complex web into the mix. Creativity gives an edge over sheer muscle. It's a journey into a microcosm that casts light on the entirety of the human story. 

I got the kindle app again! I had it then I didn't. I'm not sure why I thought it no longer existed for a time. I dunno. Anyway, I was waiting for this one to come out. All right; I confess, I was curious to hear about Liz's lesbian affair. I'm being honest. I think most of us are a little prone to morbid curiosity, the kind that makes you prick up your ears and lean in when someone mentions some juicy gossip. 

But I knew it would be so much - so much more than just a let me tell my story, because it's Liz! I knew it would be hard packed with spirituality, in-depth processing, discovery, humor, anecdotes, and Liz does not disappoint in All the Way to the River. 

I would definitely put it in the mid life re-alignment zone. Perfect for any anonymous people who may be in that zone. Near that zone, having had been in that zone, probably will continue to be in that zone, forever - another decade?

It's about her love story with Rayya, but it's also about addiction and recovery. I have a second hand relationship with recovery. Not because I probably don't need the rooms. I believe we all do on some spectrum or another. I have a friend who has told me all about recovery. I can't speak about it for myself, but I'm familiar with the language and the concepts and I deeply admire the work that is done for and with people and the support they receive. 

Reading Liz's nonfiction is like speaking with a friend. She oozes familiarity and ease in her tone and I get super drawn in and not bored. Def recommend for anyone who wants to hear a powerful story and is interested in the topics of intimacy, co-dependency, and recovery. 

One thing that surprised me was how much she talks about God. "Is the Universe good, bad, or indifferent?" While she doesn't attempt to directly answer this question, she implies that she believes there is a God or force who cares and can be appealed to, spoken to, and who offers direction. 

This led me to ponder where I'm at with this. Over the past few years I had arrived at an experimental plateau of neutrality about this topic. I definitely believe all religions are invented by humans, but as to God.... not sure. Is there a God, are they a distant or personal God, are they malicious, benign, or loving. (if loving, I concluded they don't love the creatures on earth to have a comfortable physical existence.) Liz witnessed her friend go through unspeakable pain, yet she walked away with an openness to embracing the God of her understanding. 

My intellect allows me to experiment with prayer, because why not? It feels good to pray for people. (even if I think of it more as loving meditation and imparting positive energy). It feels great to surrender my fears to a higher power. It feels comfortable to ask for a sign or a sense of direction (as long as I'm not putting my logic, common sense, and instincts in the trunk of the car.) I think I needed Liz's book to remind me that there is potential richness in embracing the God of my understanding (or at least experimenting with it.)

If some fundie tells me that "the god of my understanding is not valid" here's what I would say: "If God wants to impart to me a clear picture of who they are and what I should think about them or do for them" it needs to be very clear and that should be easy for GOD. And by easy I don't mean an ancient manuscript written in another language. 

ooh I squeezed in a mini rant.

I jumped on here to add something for myself. I realized that the thing from this book that seems to be hitting me the most isn't even what I wrote about so far here. It's the codepndency thing. It's the constant pull to over function in many relationships. To not know where I begin and others begin. To take responsibility for things that are not mine. My reading of this book is not going to halt a pattern of people pleasing that began when I was like 3 years old, but it is helping me to raise my awareness around this topic, this pull, shining light of intentionality on this dance that is relationships. 

Pathological Skimmer soothed by meditative audio book where every word is read

Anne Hillerman -Bestselling Mystery Author

(one of her books below that I recently audio read) 

 https://www.annehillerman.com/

I recently discovered the new free library app "Libby." I used something similar years ago called "Overdrive." I didn't really think I liked mysteries all that much. I thought I left them behind with Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys which I did read my fair share of back in the halls of Maricopa Elementary School.  

Through exploring what genres work for me to listen to in short bits (commute of 15 mins and 30 min lunch breaks, while folding laundry, working in kitchen) I've been finding that these mysteries are ideal. 

I previously mentioned that I had watched the new series Dark Winds so when I happened upon this book series which is the basis for the storyline of the show, it was perfect. I'm obsessed with the four corners region and the author sprinkles in plenty of landscape lore (just for me I presume.)

Anne Hillerman created a spin-off series from her Dad Tony Hillerman's detective novels set in the Navajo nation.

Have I shared in these rooms that I'm a pathological skimmer? It's an atrocious habit that became deeply cemented during my English Majorhood at college where I took too many classes at once, and opted for insane History  and Bible classes as electives because I'm an unabashed geek.  (also extremely religious back then which only added to my general lack of frivolity.)

I arrogantly presume to be equipped to extract the succulent marrow of a work without taking the time to read each word. (I often miss really juicy bits this way.) One might reasonably ask how does a skimmer select which words to actually read and which to skip? I'm not entirely sure on this count. It's an intuitive process that cannot be explained, nor shall I try. But if I get bored I start to skim... And I get bored very easily - and it gets worse as I get older, not better. 

 Or I value my time more, not sure. Sidenote - I tried to wrap some gifts for Christmas last night. I tried to force myself to cut the wrapping paper in a straight line, to actually care about how the package looked. I'm telling you, it was extraordinarily difficult. It felt like a major waste of time and it wasn't like I had anything else pressing to do. But suddenly, I was giving myself some kind of a pep talk about why this was important. Why was it important you might ask? Because my daughter asked me to wrap gifts in actual paper, instead of jamming them into used creased Christmas bags like I usually do. (However, she said nothing about appearance of said gifts!) And I love my daughter so there. 

All this to say, audio books can't really be skimmed. So I actually am "reading" the entire book and by that I mean every word. All the thes and the prepositions and articles. ALL.. Except for the bits that get drowned out by noisy clanking dishes when I'm in the kitchen or if I get interrupted by people whose monologues cannot be skimmed through (politely) anyway. I have found that you can only ask a given person to "cut to the chase" so many times without them completely rejecting your company. I myself am guilty of rambling monologues at times. I am a verbal processor after all. (we noticed.)